Confession time: I sometimes find myself playing the victim. In the last few weeks, I have problems with two businesses that cost me a significant amount of money because of their errors. My concerns and complaints went unheard and unnoticed. It was frustrating and demoralizing. Spending the last few weeks trying to be heard has tapped me mentally and physically.

I defaulted to a “poor me” mode and “no one cares” mode. I made myself a victim. By playing the victim role, I stripped myself of all my power. This power loss seeped into every area of my life. Now, I am paying the price: I’m sick.

I’m not a real victim. I have a choice.

What happened: I let outside events dictate how I felt inside. I chose to respond by becoming frustrated. I chose to worry about an outcome I had no control over. I chose to let computer-based decisions dictate my whole life.

I Surrender

When I realized what was going on, I detached myself emotionally from the outcome, handing my fears and worries over to a higher power.  I’ve expressed my anger.  I’ve said my piece. Peace of mind becomes a priority after exploring every channel. Consistent mental vigilance can give you a headache.

When you step into self-defeating behavior, step out of it. Stop what you’re doing.  Look at behavior. Listen to your intuition. If those steps don’t empower you, experiment with the following approaches to re-empowerment.

• Treat yourself well. When you feel dejected, you may not feel like taking care of yourself. This is the exact time when you should take care of yourself. And since worrying also may interfere with sleep, take extra steps to get plenty of sleep.
• Take a time out. Pray. Meditate. Seek spiritual guidance. Watch a funny movie. Play a video game. Engaging in mindless play, rest and entertainment transforms your mood.
• Don’t take it personally. I’m guilty of being oversensitive. And when business transactions occur that put me at a disadvantage, I feel attacked and violated. To counter powerlessness feelings, step outside yourself. Write about the situation in a journal or diary. Instead of using personal pronouns and referring to your feelings, write about the situation from an impersonal and business-like point-of-view. This places the problem in perspective.
• Express gratitude for what is going right in your life. Also be grateful that you’re not the person on the receiving end of your anger. I’m sure the people I’ve contacted over the past few weeks get yelled at all day.

Now, it’s your turn:

Are you a victor or victim?

 

“Ninety-nine percent of the failures come from people who have the habit of making excuses.”  ~George Washington Carver

Last weekend, I attended the Integrative Nutrition Mega Conference in Long Beach, CA. During one segment, a trailer was shown for Miss Representation, which was directed by Jennifer Siebel Newsom, the founder of Girls Club Entertainment. The trailer shocked, saddened, and inspired me. If something, someone, or some issue spurs an emotional response. It is your duty to explore the issue and do something about it. No step is too small to take.

For me, I become really emotional and outspoken when I see those anti-obesity ads targeted toward children. From my point-of-view, they are encouraging these children to hate themselves and their bodies. I understand that the purpose is to encourage healthy change. I just wish this campaign sought to improve the lives children from a place of love not hate. After all, if you love your body, you’re more likely to treat it right through exercise, nutritious foods, etc.

Anyway, here’s the trailer of Miss Representation:

Last night, I fell asleep upset over being essentially ripped off by Bookit.com when a booked hotel reservations through the website (note to self—just because a major site recommends it for booking doesn’t mean the site provides honest business practices and exceptional customer service). This morning, I woke up craving fresh-baked cinnamon rolls—luckily none were within my grasps.  While I don’t condemn having the occasional sweet treats, when I feel like someone has attacked me or taken advantaged of me, just one sugary treat won’t do. I grab another, then another.

Like many people, I have emotional hunger. When life gets me down, I start eating. This is a glaring contrast to what I did when I was younger. When I was in my teens and very early 20s, when I was sad and hurt, I lost my appetite. What hasn’t changed:  There has always a link between my emotions and my eating habits.

What is Emotional Eating?

Emotional eating is simply eating to release or tame negative emotions. We use food for many things besides nourishment. We use it as entertainment. We also use food as a form of stress release. Food can even double as an anxiety remedy. While logically we often aren’t aware of emotional eating, on a physiological level, however, the brain associates food with reward and pleasure. When some of us feel dejected, the regions of the brain associated with food taste and desirability energize. Eating during these times feel more satisfying. That’s why it’s so hard to stop once we get started. The problem with emotional eating is that food only provides short-term gratification. Eating to heal emotional pain rarely solves the underlying problem.

How to Stop Overeating

The first step to stopping emotional overeating is determining if and when you emotionally eat. You can discover this as well as other eating habits by keeping a food and emotion diary for a week. You can also do this by simply asking yourself one question:

What’s eating me?

Further tips on overcoming overeating include:

• Be aware of your emotions. Go through a mental checklist, before you eat, snack, or drink. Ask yourself these two questions: What kind of mood am I in? Am I really hungry?
• Stay away from the television when you’re vulnerable. Food advertisement can induce emotional overeating by playing with your head, making you not only thinking more about food but also desiring to eat.
• Add some activities that induce positive emotions. This is not acting Pollyannaish and dismissing negative emotions. This is tipping the positive emotion to negative emotion ratio. Simple tasks like exercising for 20 minutes, watching a funny movie, and talking with friends can help you feel better without resorting to food maneuvers.

When trying to become healthier, diet and lifestyle changes go hand in hand. To get long-term results, you’re going to have to change on multiple levels. One such level that is overlooked and underestimated is sleep. Without sufficient sleep, losing weight with using a one-dimensional reduced-calorie diet becomes more difficult. Studies show that women who have problems getting to sleep and staying to sleep tend to gain weight. Weight gain is more associated with women who have ongoing sleep problems. Women who have the occasional bout of sleep problems are less likely to gain weight because of lack of sleep quality.

How Sleep Contributes to Weight Gain

Sleep potentially influences our weight on several levels. One theory is that the lack of sleep drives hunger and appetite. Sleeplessness encourages some to eat even when not hungry—think midnight snacks and mindless noshing. There’s a double whammy if your food vices are within easy reach. Sleep also means more fatigue. When fatigue sets in, who wants to get up an exercise the next morning? This lowers the number of calories burned.

Sleep to Lose Weight

Now that you have a little insight into why sleep contributes to weight gain, how can you use that info for your benefit? First, find out if you are a victim of sleep problems.

• Consider how long it takes you to fall asleep. If it’s longer than 20 minutes, you may have a problem.
• Do you often find yourself waking up throughout the night?
• Do you feel well rested each morning?
• Does your partner tell you that you toss, turn, or kick the sheets off throughout the night?

If these questions apply to you, better sleep may be one solution to helping with your weight problems. Here are some natural ways to get more rest at night:

• 30 minutes of Moderate Exercise (Walking, Biking, Jogging, Swimming, etc.): Though it may be difficult to muster up enough energy exercise, exercise may be just what your body needs. Moderately exercise for 30 minutes and you’ll fall asleep faster, stay asleep longer, and receive a better quality sleep. One caveat: Make exercise-time at least three to six hours before bedtime.
• Set Your Sleep-mode with Music: Jarring rock, risqué rap or peppy pop may not induce quality sleep but classical, instrumental and soothing music can lull the body enough to encourage sleep. Slow, relaxing music reduces stress. Music also distracts you from the unpleasantness that may be preventing you from sleeping.
• Nix the Nightcap: A glass of wine before bed may make you sleepy. Unfortunately, chances are that the alcohol may cause you to wake up frequently throughout the night, according to the National Sleep Foundation. And, please, please, please never mix alcohol with other sleep medications—or any other medication that may induce drowsiness.
• Practice Good Sleep Hygiene: Setting regular bedtime habits can be a simple way of enhancing sleep quality. Set a regular bedtime. Keep bedroom temperatures cool. Turn off or cover gadgets and appliances that emit light. For more sleep hygiene tips, visit the American Society of Sleep Medicine.

My philosophy is that there is no one-size-fits-all solution to obtaining a healthy weight and lifestyle. But, getting sufficient sleep is one of those daily actions that can significantly benefit your overall health, not just your waistline.

Make sleep a priority for a week. Record your feelings in a journal each evening. Note how and if your life and habits have changed.